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  • Writer's pictureKwame Djemjem

What are Pyramids of Love?

The Pyramids of Love are created to help people reconcile with traumatic experiences. We bring awareness about aspects of traumas that are seldom considered.

  • it is traumatic to inflict abuse as well as receive abuse

  • trauma can evolve and be passed down to the next generation

  • blaming others for our traumas is detrimental to our well-being

  • take action to address traumas

It is traumatic to inflict abuse as well as receive abuse

I am sure many of us can appreciate how it feels when we say or do something wrong to another person. Our conscience automatically kicks in and makes us feel bad about what we have said or done. Rather than address what we have done, we try to protect our conscience by providing excuses for our behaviour, 'they deserved it', 'they were giving me bad looks', 'they are all like that'... In the short term, this can help, but sometime later we could be doing something menial and something will trigger the memory of our malevolence. These cringe moments can be easily dismissed by reinforcing the excuses. Each time we do this we compromise our compassion, integrity and humility. This is a traumatic state of being.

Trauma can evolve and be passed down to the next generation

I feel most people can appreciate we inherit traumas from our parents. Our parents and role models heavily influence our behaviour. If someone grows up in a violent household, they may become a violent person. If a person has been abused, they may abuse themselves or others in the same or different ways. Our descendants are nurtured with our dysfunctional behaviours. This is helps to keep racism alive.

Blaming others for our traumas is detrimental to our well-being

Being in part descended from enslaved Africans, I grew up angry about the way black people were treated in the past and present. I blamed governments, monarchies and institutions for their historical roles and their lack of apologies and atonement. It was possible to spend my whole life screaming they need to fix what they have done to me and other descendants of enslaved Africans. I was effectively sabotaging my own well being and the only way out was to get these institutions to apologise.

I had to re-examine my traumas and do whatever it took to reconcile with them. I reclaimed my traditions. I also took on board we are all products of conditioning and circumstances. Now when I look at people and institution that continue to oppress people, I see it as a manifestation of their unreconciled trauma and it has nothing to do with me.

Take action to address traumas

Any uncomfortable feelings of anger or hatred can be a sign of unreconciled trauma. It is too easy to wallow in self-pity and blame others for our traumas. It is too easy to excuse our malevolence with irrational excuses. It is possible to recondition ourselves to stop our malevolence or heal traumas. Take a step, do something, keep the momentum going and trust things will be ok.

We all have the power to create our reality. Unresolved trauma is like baggage weighing us down. It is our choice to continue to add to our load or address the trauma and lighten our load.

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